He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
