I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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