You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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