I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
