Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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