There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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