So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
