dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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