is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize