you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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