I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
