She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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