Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
