Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
