There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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