Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
COCAINE IS GR8
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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