I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
