Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize