do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
