God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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