life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
