I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
