did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
