I smell stomach acid.
honey bunches of taint.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
True strength comes from lack of pants
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
