Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(406): View more from Montana

Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner

(617): View more from Massachusetts

you want to re-phrase that?

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(+44): View more from England

I just gift wrapped bread.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech

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(309): View more from Illinois

You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...

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(260): View more from Indiana

He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.

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(917): View more from New York City

I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face

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(756): View more from

How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?

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