just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Everyone says I win the strip club
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
