I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
