apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
