my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
