it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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