we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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