the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
