you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
