who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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