hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
