i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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