plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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