His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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