nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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