Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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