he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
