I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
