I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
