Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
there is glitter all over my balls
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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