the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
well, you know. whores of a feather.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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