Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
