It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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