So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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