found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
