you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
