I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
