we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
