Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
