I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
