how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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