I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
