there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
