Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize