I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
