He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
