In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
